Lily K
Tuesday, 7 December 2010
Confessions
Hello fellow readers, whoever you may be. =). Summer holidays are here but the summer weather isn't. It has been raining for the past few days. No sun or heat. All I do is stay home, catch up and try out new shows, eat healthy snacks and occasionally read. I want to get out of the house but it is such a hassle with the downpour. Especially going to the gym. Imagine getting damp and icky in gym gear. Who wants to run on the treadmill with wet socks and squeaky shoes? Haha.
Guess what, I bought books online! From Borders online. It is my first online purchase with my own and new debit card. You'd think I'd buy clothes. I figured adding books to my shelves would be a better investment for the time being. Shopping for clothes is much easier than books hence spending more money, I chose the lesser of two evils. Teehee. Although I'd love to go to Borders in person, it's just too tedious to drive 45 minutes on my own, not knowing where to go. I'm not particularly good on highways either. Ali and I will be planning a trip there to sit in the huge bookstore and leaf through potential buys. ; ). I can't wait to get my books! I also can't wait to get the present I got for Ali. I shall not divulge my secret until I get it in my hands. She doesn't read my blog unless I tell her to so no spoiling the surprise there.
Eating healthy snacks and the gym has been good to me. Over the past year and a half, I have gained 5 kilos. Before I left for the land down under, I was 50kg and now I'm proud to be 55kg. I don't mind gaining more only if its muscle weight.
Before I arrived, I vowed never to put on fatty weight. Watching my sister put on weight over skype and photos was disconcerting, I didn't think I would end up like that but I did. She's all skinny again now, don't worry about that. Haha. I went flabby and soft due to laziness, the winter weather and the food that I succumbed to due to the hours that I worked, I work during dinner times so I end up munching into the late night. Sometimes I buy little snacks that I say it's a once in a blue moon thing but I get hooked and it's never good to give in.
I have at one point started to go over 55kg with more fat. You know what snapped me out of this craze of laziness? Watching my sister fit into the jeans I wore on the plane that flew me to Australia that I cannot fit into anymore. We are the same size, some times she can't fit into tops that I can but that's only because she has a broader upper body and a bigger chest. Lol.
I was pretty depressed and unhappy. Cellulite on the back of my thighs, losing my waist, my once skinny abs are under a layer of fatty tissue.
Solution to feeling better and looking better for me is going to the gym. I was never a sporty person so I make up for it by going to the gym. Believe it or not, I feel better after exercising. The happiness is also fueled by my narcissistic and vain personality. I do not deny I like looking good.
The hardest part of my body to lose it's fats would be my tummy, thats the only place I want to be flat. I'm making progress everywhere else, not losing weight is my goal, turning the fats into muscle is. I've always been keen on being toned, not only to the touch but visibly toned. When I walk, I want my the muscles in my thighs and calves to be seen, when I lift my arms to tie my hair, you'll see biceps, triceps and all that at work. I want to have very sexy shoulder blades and back. Haha. Not muscular. Toned. =D. Wish me luck. I'll get there someday soon.
Aside from exercising, I currently munch on fresh tomatoes, muesli, various fruits(bananas, green apples, grapes, plums and whatever that is in season that tingles my taste buds), Weet-bix (it's cereal, wholegrain but I eat it without milk. It comes as bars and you soak it in milk. It tastes better without milk for me, I feel like a horse eating hay. Haha), nuts and cheese. Sometimes I cook, like the other day, pasta with sun-dried tomatoes, chicken and basil tossed in a pan with extra virgin olive oil and S&P. I'm trying to go simple and less fatty now. Don't know why I'm occasionally health conscious but it's a good thing right? I'm going to keep it up.
You won't see me skinny as I was before and I never want to go there again. Lol. Ali referred to me as malnourished when she stumbled across my older photos. I have to say I had stick thin arms. Sometimes I still wonder if my face could be less wholesome or my thighs skinnier again but the thought passes. When I complain that I'm fat, I don't actually mean it so I refrain from saying it. It makes me feel petty and make others around me think I'm nuts. I'm not fat, I don't think I am even though some friends call my thighs thunder but then they're the friends who I know will tell me the harsh truth when I ask for it. (They're guys, not my girls) It hurts but it wakes me up from my trance. I've gone a size up in clothes. I wonder how I ever did fit into a size 6.
To some of you being a size 8 would be great and I'm one of them. ; ). Stay whatever shape or size you're in as long as you're happy and content with it. Choose the longer and more tedious path to change it if you want, you'll feel like you achieved more when you put lots of sweat and delicious healthy food into it. Don't force yourself to change your whole diet or eat things you don't like, you can't be happy on the long run. I eat tomatoes, not celery (I despise celery), I don't like yoghurt so I don't eat it although it it recommended but I eat lots of fibre in muesli, weet-bix. Choose a type of cereal that is healthy or ticked by some kind of health organisation but choose the one that at least taste good not like bird food and whatnot.
I still eat carbohydrates because I absolutely cannot live without bread, rice or any other form of carbs. Ya just can't overdo it.
When I'm thirsty, I turn to my bottle of water and the occasional juice and always fruits. I don't drink soft drinks unless I'm craving for it which is rare. I don't drink alcohol often at all. Do NOT give into peer pressure when you're out partying, if I can have a smashing time without alcohol, why can't you? I do succumb to the lure of the effects of alcohol one time or another but keep yourself in check. Let it give you a nice buzz, anything more you'd end up doing embarrassing things, puking your guts out, passing out and you wake up to tagged photos of yourself taken by friends while you were amusingly sleeping on the table, couch, against a wall or on the floor. I'm not talking from experience of being drunk, just talking from the experience of being the friend.
Whenever I feel like eating something even if I'm not hungry, I go to the kitchen, open the pantry and the fridge and look at the food that I can only eat and choose one or a few. Fruits, cereal, tomatoes or nuts. Don't give other things a second glance. I fight the urge to open a packet of instant noodles. I fought the urge 4 times today. My indulgence would be chocolate and bread. It isn't easy to fit into a healthy routine when anything instant, tasty and unhealthy is always there to tempt you but in my case, we always have a good stash of instant noodles because my sister works long and odd hours while I have classes in the day and work at night. Both of us coming home to cook every night is not really an option. We do go out to eat some times, my sister more than me. I'm more of the stay at home type and forage for whatever we have. Lol.
I shall stop rambling now and get back to The Mentalist. Added to my list of shows. =).
XOXO.
P.S : You might not see my gained weight in most photos because I'm a master as disguising it.
Guess what, I bought books online! From Borders online. It is my first online purchase with my own and new debit card. You'd think I'd buy clothes. I figured adding books to my shelves would be a better investment for the time being. Shopping for clothes is much easier than books hence spending more money, I chose the lesser of two evils. Teehee. Although I'd love to go to Borders in person, it's just too tedious to drive 45 minutes on my own, not knowing where to go. I'm not particularly good on highways either. Ali and I will be planning a trip there to sit in the huge bookstore and leaf through potential buys. ; ). I can't wait to get my books! I also can't wait to get the present I got for Ali. I shall not divulge my secret until I get it in my hands. She doesn't read my blog unless I tell her to so no spoiling the surprise there.
Eating healthy snacks and the gym has been good to me. Over the past year and a half, I have gained 5 kilos. Before I left for the land down under, I was 50kg and now I'm proud to be 55kg. I don't mind gaining more only if its muscle weight.
Before I arrived, I vowed never to put on fatty weight. Watching my sister put on weight over skype and photos was disconcerting, I didn't think I would end up like that but I did. She's all skinny again now, don't worry about that. Haha. I went flabby and soft due to laziness, the winter weather and the food that I succumbed to due to the hours that I worked, I work during dinner times so I end up munching into the late night. Sometimes I buy little snacks that I say it's a once in a blue moon thing but I get hooked and it's never good to give in.
I have at one point started to go over 55kg with more fat. You know what snapped me out of this craze of laziness? Watching my sister fit into the jeans I wore on the plane that flew me to Australia that I cannot fit into anymore. We are the same size, some times she can't fit into tops that I can but that's only because she has a broader upper body and a bigger chest. Lol.
I was pretty depressed and unhappy. Cellulite on the back of my thighs, losing my waist, my once skinny abs are under a layer of fatty tissue.
Solution to feeling better and looking better for me is going to the gym. I was never a sporty person so I make up for it by going to the gym. Believe it or not, I feel better after exercising. The happiness is also fueled by my narcissistic and vain personality. I do not deny I like looking good.
The hardest part of my body to lose it's fats would be my tummy, thats the only place I want to be flat. I'm making progress everywhere else, not losing weight is my goal, turning the fats into muscle is. I've always been keen on being toned, not only to the touch but visibly toned. When I walk, I want my the muscles in my thighs and calves to be seen, when I lift my arms to tie my hair, you'll see biceps, triceps and all that at work. I want to have very sexy shoulder blades and back. Haha. Not muscular. Toned. =D. Wish me luck. I'll get there someday soon.
Aside from exercising, I currently munch on fresh tomatoes, muesli, various fruits(bananas, green apples, grapes, plums and whatever that is in season that tingles my taste buds), Weet-bix (it's cereal, wholegrain but I eat it without milk. It comes as bars and you soak it in milk. It tastes better without milk for me, I feel like a horse eating hay. Haha), nuts and cheese. Sometimes I cook, like the other day, pasta with sun-dried tomatoes, chicken and basil tossed in a pan with extra virgin olive oil and S&P. I'm trying to go simple and less fatty now. Don't know why I'm occasionally health conscious but it's a good thing right? I'm going to keep it up.
You won't see me skinny as I was before and I never want to go there again. Lol. Ali referred to me as malnourished when she stumbled across my older photos. I have to say I had stick thin arms. Sometimes I still wonder if my face could be less wholesome or my thighs skinnier again but the thought passes. When I complain that I'm fat, I don't actually mean it so I refrain from saying it. It makes me feel petty and make others around me think I'm nuts. I'm not fat, I don't think I am even though some friends call my thighs thunder but then they're the friends who I know will tell me the harsh truth when I ask for it. (They're guys, not my girls) It hurts but it wakes me up from my trance. I've gone a size up in clothes. I wonder how I ever did fit into a size 6.
To some of you being a size 8 would be great and I'm one of them. ; ). Stay whatever shape or size you're in as long as you're happy and content with it. Choose the longer and more tedious path to change it if you want, you'll feel like you achieved more when you put lots of sweat and delicious healthy food into it. Don't force yourself to change your whole diet or eat things you don't like, you can't be happy on the long run. I eat tomatoes, not celery (I despise celery), I don't like yoghurt so I don't eat it although it it recommended but I eat lots of fibre in muesli, weet-bix. Choose a type of cereal that is healthy or ticked by some kind of health organisation but choose the one that at least taste good not like bird food and whatnot.
I still eat carbohydrates because I absolutely cannot live without bread, rice or any other form of carbs. Ya just can't overdo it.
When I'm thirsty, I turn to my bottle of water and the occasional juice and always fruits. I don't drink soft drinks unless I'm craving for it which is rare. I don't drink alcohol often at all. Do NOT give into peer pressure when you're out partying, if I can have a smashing time without alcohol, why can't you? I do succumb to the lure of the effects of alcohol one time or another but keep yourself in check. Let it give you a nice buzz, anything more you'd end up doing embarrassing things, puking your guts out, passing out and you wake up to tagged photos of yourself taken by friends while you were amusingly sleeping on the table, couch, against a wall or on the floor. I'm not talking from experience of being drunk, just talking from the experience of being the friend.
Whenever I feel like eating something even if I'm not hungry, I go to the kitchen, open the pantry and the fridge and look at the food that I can only eat and choose one or a few. Fruits, cereal, tomatoes or nuts. Don't give other things a second glance. I fight the urge to open a packet of instant noodles. I fought the urge 4 times today. My indulgence would be chocolate and bread. It isn't easy to fit into a healthy routine when anything instant, tasty and unhealthy is always there to tempt you but in my case, we always have a good stash of instant noodles because my sister works long and odd hours while I have classes in the day and work at night. Both of us coming home to cook every night is not really an option. We do go out to eat some times, my sister more than me. I'm more of the stay at home type and forage for whatever we have. Lol.
I shall stop rambling now and get back to The Mentalist. Added to my list of shows. =).
XOXO.
P.S : You might not see my gained weight in most photos because I'm a master as disguising it.
Love,
Lily K.
Lily K.
(2:05:00 AM)